Friendships.

Friends, we all have them, we’ve also lost some, maybe a lot. You know how they say that if you lose friends it means that you’re growing up? Well yeah, that may be true. But the pain that comes with losing friends is often not discussed widely. They say that it’s good to have friends from both genders. But i, as a person, I’ve never had a girlfriend in my entire life. Those that i had, lasted for less that 6 months. I have so many boy friends in my life, in fact two of me best-est friends are boys. One is someone I’ve known for more than 6 years and the other is someone I’ve known for almost 3 years. But some days i wonder what it’s like to have a best friend that is a girl. Someone who will obsess over makeup with you, someone who will go shop with you without complaining, someone who will understand you when you complain about boys and period pain, someone you can hang out with freely without your parents asking you a million questions (my parents are strict af). I don’t have a sister so i often wonder about that. You know, i feel that the pain that comes with losing your best friend or friends is greater than the pain that comes with a heart break. You can always find someone else to love with time, but replacing that one human that knew you better than anyone, knew all your flaws and still loved you unapologetic-ally, someone who had your back, someone who fought for you, someone you have your best memories with…its hard to replace that one or maybe two humans. Yeah, you can find new friends but i don’t think that friendship will be as deep as the your first friendship or your childhood friends. I have had some girl friends, in primary school and high school, but they never lasted. Mainly because i was always the third friend. You know, “the third friend”. Those who have been in that kind of situation will tell you how painful it is. Being the third friend means you have to walk alone on the side walk because it is too narrow to accommodate three people all the damn time. It means that you are not so important to be hung out with or to be told secrets or to even be considered as part of the group. ┬áBeing the third friend means you will constantly feel lonely even though you have your “two friends” with you because they are busy being together and having fun and pushing you or the sidelines all the time. Being the third friend means you are constantly going to wonder what you are doing wrong that is making the two other friends push you away and make you watch things from the sidelines while they still call you their “best friend forever”. Being the third friend means you are going to care more for them than they do for you. Being the third friend means you are going to be pretty much sad all the time because you feel lonely. Then finally, a day comes whereby you are just dropped, no warning no nothing, you are no longer a part of that friendship, you are just going to be a kind of a stranger to them, really. You’ll pass in the hallways and just smile at each other when there was a time when you guys used to run to each other to hug each other. You’re going to hurt, but then soon you’ll have to move on once you realize that there is no going back. Something even more painful is that, at first you used to be to be two best friends, then a third person came in and your best friend left you for them. That it something that is really really painful. Someone who has gone through that kind of a situation will understand what i’m trying to say. Having a boy best friend or having boys who are your best friends is also a nice thing. You know that you are gonna be well protected from any wrong guy who tries to get it with you, you will know what to look for in a guy because they literally school you in that department, there is often less drama. But having a friend from the same gender is something that is really amazing and just remember that not all people have that opportunity or know that feeling. So if you have a same gender friend then be thankful and hug them a little tighter and appreciate them because not everyone is as lucky as you are. So you see, losing a best friend is usually very tormenting and painful because when you are suffering from a heartbreak, you usually have your best friend to help you through it, to cheer you up and because of them you feel that your world has not become entirely bland anymore. But when you lose a best friend you don’t have anybody to cheer you up and your world becomes bland with no color. I don’t know about you, but to me, losing a best friend is the worst thing that can happen to me…second only to losing my parents (because that is way way way painful).

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